Day 29 - Rest Day

Larry David - easily the biggest hero in comedy. I sometimes think how his character from Curb Your Enthusiam would react to the everyday life scenarios faced in India - whether it be dealing with the cultural customs and idiosyncrasies, or just the hygiene standards and personal space issues, which it would be fair to say are far less important. Except when entering a house and your footwear must come off.

There is the constant hocking and spitting - sometimes flying from all directions that you don't know whether you've been hit.

 "The Magic Loogie" 

"The Magic Loogie" 

Southern India dining is often done on a banana leaf that receives a quick rinse over with the water they give you from a cup. Of course eating is done with your hands. This is due to Vedic times when it was believed to improve the consciousness of taste - to use all of your senses.

 Masala Dosa

Masala Dosa

Then there is the sheer amount of animals casually roaming the streets - at least you can say they are free range? Up until they are killed on the side of the road ready to be purchased at the unfridgerated butchers.

 Never any part goes to waste.. Goat Head included

Never any part goes to waste.. Goat Head included

 35 day aged meat

35 day aged meat

Best never to ask questions with food, just go with it and hope for the best.

The roads - are batshit crazy. From the speed, overtaking, horns or to the amount of people crammed into a car and appears that they are attempting to enter the Guinness Book of Records. I will give credit when credit is due. They sure do know how to load up a motorbike to full capacity.

 No two shopping trips for this man 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 

No two shopping trips for this man 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 

 And thennnn snapped its neck.

And thennnn snapped its neck.

Squat toilets are unforgiving on the quads after a tough day of hiking. Forget toilet paper - If you're lucky you'll have the 'bum gun' or simply a small bucket - which I've never quite got my head around how to use. Now I can kind of understand sitting down to pee as a man but the squat piss that is so common by Indian men to me is overcomplicating the whole process.

 Thongs on or off?

Thongs on or off?

 I still can never resist chicken on the menu..

I still can never resist chicken on the menu..

Need not worry though as you've got the universal bathroom - nature - the world is your oysters in India. However, even when you think you've found that peaceful spot for a Dos - sure enough a meerkateque head will pop up from nowhere to say hello.

Privacy is hard to come by in India. The 10pm phone call cut off time doesn't exist. Even as I write this I am sure there is someone peering over my shoulder.

 Image via HBO

Image via HBO

Would I change any of this? None. You have to learn to curb your ways, sit back relax, laugh  enjoy the magical weirdness that is India.

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